I thought as it was Sunday that perhaps a more pensive blog was the order of the day. May be as I have had a little more time to think… A bit more space in my morning for my mind to wander!

What is life? It is a huge question… And may be the answers of which can only be found in death.

For anyone who has lost someone, this may ring true for you too. But equally I understand that we all have different belief systems, different mechanisms with which we cope with the loss of someone who we love. Although at the end of the day, we all are left with the same. A space. A great big void where that person should sit. We can fill it with memories and sharing happy times with friends. We can reminisce with others who loved as we did. We can fill that darkness with all sorts of words and actions and time passing by. But at the end of the day. That emptiness is real. Nothing truly fills the void. Life just keeps moving forward, and us that are left behind with it. Albeit with a heavier step, a broken heart, a silent tear.

If you’ve ever lost someone, you will understand the heart ache. The great gut wrenching sobs that make you want to stop breathing. Interspersed with manic laughter as your body and your mind hold onto the rollercoaster that is loss. Sometimes you don’t know how to cope with the enormity of it all and you bury your head in doing good deeds and Pinot Grigio. Sometimes you don’t know how to get out of bed in the morning. As all that is left of the person you loved is a head full of memories, a cardboard box full of photos and “stuff’ they no longer need. It feels heartbreaking to know that 70 years (or however many there were) boil down to a box of bits that nobody wants.

And herewith the lesson of death, the one I try to remember each day…. Love those you love, love them fiercely, and tell them. Because one day they will be gone and your whispered I love yous will have no where to go. Don’t let the rush of everyday blind you from what is important. It is not stuff but making memories and truly living in those moments… Spend time with people who fill your life with glitter and magic and laughter and song, because each day is blessed with sunshine even in the rain. Immerse yourself in this world. For although not perfect it is beautiful and colourful and full of life. Don’t wait…… There is always a reason to wait to chase those dreams. But what if you leave it too skylate?

Look after you. Look after each other.

Love and light

Betty x

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