I had one of those days yesterday when I had an extra skip in my step!! Where I smiled at the world and rather randomly said “good morning” to everyone! Up until midday of course and then it wore off!!
I had a day full of Beans. A morning with the delightful and ever inspiring children of Happy Beans and their mums and in the evening a gallop round the Cotswold Villages with the sweaty, yet determined Runner Beans! All topped off with a glass of wine and some open minds at the program I deliver alongside the wonderful Jane, at B3st Foot Forward…. I also had some beautiful conversations with some amazing women along the way….. I was struck, however, by the total lack of self belief in these in ladies. This is by no means a judgement or criticism! It just leaves me with such a heavy heart as I wonder where has that confidence gone???
Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means the most self assured person I know. I quite frequently blush behind “Beans” head… and inwardly cringe when I say too much after the post run endorphins have started whizzing round my brain…. But what really saddens me, is the fact that these ladies didn’t think they inspired. Didn’t think they had anything to say. Didn’t believe they were beautiful.
Where does that take my ever wondering wandering mind….. I really want to just say this……
You are all inspiring…. You don’t have to win a Nobel Peace Prize, get voted in to parliament, work a full time job, have hundreds of children (Incidentally I am not saying that each of these things isn’t inspiring)… All the inspiring you do is in all the small things you do! It is in the smiles and care and the light you shine for those people around you….. You inspire with kindness, compassion, making cookies!! You inspire with your care and your thoughtfulness and your mind! And yes for the jobs that you do, and the way that you juggle, and the children you parent! Whether you are a high flying barrister or a high flying mum. You inspire at every turn. Don’t compare your light to another… For each of our lights, together, makes for a brighter tomorrow!
You all have something to add to the world…. It is not necessarily the ability to have deep and meaningful conversations about politics and economics, the stock exchange or the state of society that makes you a valid person. Sometimes the most valuable person, is the one who looks around the room and notices the lonely…. The person who can see when another feels out of their depth and quietly sits by their side. Of course conversations of such intense nature help shape the world, when it is done properly. But the world is also shaped by compassion.
You are all beautiful…. Whether you are young or old, tall or short, grey or blonde, wide or narrow….. In the eyes of those who love your very soul, you are beautiful. Beauty is not the front cover of vogue (although those ladies are beautiful too) It is the soul shine that beams from your face when you smile. It is your eyes lighting up at the words of someone who love you. It is the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, and every scar, wrinkle, wonky bit that tells a story. It is the very essence of you that makes you beautiful.
How can we change these levels of confidence in each other? Women, I implore you…. Start with being kind to yourself. Stop being your biggest critic. Sometimes the judgements we see on another persons face are not what they seem. The way you feel about someones behaviour, the emotions it evokes are not facts! Remember how amazing you are…
Equally don’t forget, we are not in competition….. There are no prizes to be won…. We should be each others rocks. The world is a lonely enough place without the judgement, and criticism coming from each other!! We are in no race… We all have one goal. To love and be loved. To be safe. To have hope….
If this blog is not enough to make you stand a little stronger…. Try listening to this (sorry about the ad beforehand)… Use your hairbrush, shut your eyes… and have a moment of “I can”, with the wonderful Helen Reddy!
Look after each other
Love and light